Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Great Pumpkin Carving Contest

"Look around you!Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see!"

Well friends, here is my entry for the Third Annual Pumpkin Carving contest sponsored by the Flowers. Make sure that you go over to their blog to cast your vote for your favorite pumpkin of the year!

Here they are in the light so you can see the sweet detail action.

Here they are with their spooky glow.

Granted, these are not actually "pumpkins" per se. But this is October 30th and it's not like we've got pumpkins growing in our backyard this time of year. I kind of had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find these two beauties. So let's call it the Third Annual Gourd Carving Contest. More ecumenical for this fine Halloween season.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Hooray for Snow!

So it finally snowed up here! Geez, we're way behind Colorado. I wasn't able to carve my pumpkin this weekend for the third annual pumpkin carving contest (even with the extra hour). But mine will be ready tomorrow. Vote for Jess!

This weekend I was able to see two really great things.

1: Byron Glacier (with two of my friends)

2: Smokey the Bear dressed as a zombie. Or a mummy.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Callie Jane shares my affinity for the hot tub. She came over tonight to partake and we played with tub toys.

She named the spruce tree in my backyard "Freaky."

It seemed to fit.

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Spam has become like wallpaper in the background of my life. It's really hard to eliminate, but I find that I don't even notice it after awhile. My spam blocker on my Yahoo account is pretty good (the blocker on my Apple is less good), so I hardly ever have too deal with it. It just piles up, a multitude of messages offering hope to the poor, downtrodden, sick and impotent.

But every once in awhile, something slips through and I find myself opening a message from Janice French with a subject like “Re: your request.”

Have you ever noticed the little paragraph of gibberish that is included to (I presume) beat the spam filter? Sentences pulled from a hundred different sites that don't relate to each other. The one I read today had some great sentences, so I tried to put them together into a sort of story. It is disjointed and weird, but bear with me.

This poem was written (written? assembled.) entirely with spam sentences. It's about the opportunities for relationship that we walk past every day. I did write the title, though.

An Exchange at Macy's re:icebreakers

An Exchange at Macy’s re:icebreakers

Witness the power of formerly blonde moppet socialite model critter Lydia Hearst, freshly redheaded because she's all about change.

She's going to see the show at the end of the week.

You might argue that her profession alone warrants her induction in the Douchebag Hall of Fame, and you would have a point.

She was accompanied by a middle-aged woman who was wearing cool-middle-aged-woman clothes, like a velvet scarf and vaguely witchy boots and such.

They were real mellow.

She was trying out some cute dresses, and has perfect skin.

"A simple case of refurbishing or something more sinister?” he was wearing a yellow hoodie, a hat, and was with one friend. “At the risk of relinquishing our hetero-man card, we quite liked fashion that tries to say stuff is a bit Kenneth Cole-ish. “

“The line's over there, we're over here.” She was trying on a khaki sweater.

Sadly, it was not to be. In fact, character falls somewhere between the guys' Xbox and Drama's frying pan.

“I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”

Won't it be sad, but also sort of funny, if the deadbeat inks a development deal with HBO? Feel free to continue mocking his chubby hands, etc.

With the fast pace of change in the city and the public's fickleness, we imagine the number is not insignificant.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, it smells like a swamp!

This weekend I took it upon myself to drain and clean my hot tub in preparation for a winter full of hot tubbing. I hadn’t cleaned it in some time. Truth be told, I had never cleaned it. So you can imagine my discomfort while trying to relax in what Seinfeld would call “A tepid pool of my own filth” (graphic, I know. But this blog deals with reality, people!). I haven’t gotten in my hot tub since February.

Saturday was the day, dawning sunny and cold. I bounded out of bed at 11 o'clock, rested and ready for the day. Here are ten easy steps for cleaning a hot tub, should you ever have the opportunity:
1. Drain the hot tub. For me, this involved siphoning through a sawed-off garden hose and getting a mouthful of water in the process. It was only later that I discovered – to my chagrin – that there is a drain pipe attached to the tub for that very purpose. Certainly a more sanitary option with a smaller chance of getting a hickey on one’s lips (awkward!).

2. Scoop out the water that doesn’t siphon out with a Tupperware® container (I’ve found that Tupperware® works best – probably the patented burping action).

3. Wipe up all the water that you cannot scoop with dry towels (this will take 37 dry towels).

4. Scrub the tub with a rag, baking soda, and elbow grease.

5. Rinse the tub out with fresh water (repeating steps 2 and 3 as necessary).

6. You should now have a clean, dry tub. If you choose, you can wax the fiberglass. At this point however, I was ready to move on to Step 7

7. Fill the tub with fresh cold water from your garden hose.

8. Wait for the tub to heat up (this will take 37 hours).

9. Sanitize to taste.

10. Enjoy!

So now I have a clean hot tub that smells like chlorine instead of swamp. When I left for work this morning it was up to 102! I plan on enjoying a good soak this evening. Hmmm. If this post wasn’t so long I would start discoursing on the ways the hot tubbing in Alaska is the best hot tubbing experience ever. Perhaps at a later date.

Don't call me Sonic

Everyone has an aspiration to greatness. Some run marathons, others paint masterpieces, still others learn second languages.

I knit hedgehogs.

We can't all be DaVinchi, you know. But these hedgehogs are pretty cool. So far I've knitted two.

Maybe next time I'll knit a sheep. Or a stuffed Mona Lisa. Or something.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Way to Go Kevin!

"Grandma Jeanette" is a pleasant elderly woman who has lived with my parents for almost two years now and suffers from dementia. She came home from the senior center one day with this incredible button pinned to her cardigan. "Way to Go Kevin!" it congratulated from her lapel. Since none of us (including Jeanette) could remember who Kevin was or anything of his recent accomplishments, the button was placed upon the counter next to the cordless phone. It appeared destined to a life of dusty abandon.

But the phrase has refused to die. Something about those words, those sounds, combined to make magic. Maybe it's the mystery. Or versatility. Perhaps just the hearty good cheer. In any case, you'll find that you have a plethora of opportunities to turn this little phrase and that using it might just make your day.

Way to Go Kevin! is the Boy Howdy! of late aught six. I know, I know. You say that it can't be done. You say that the resurrection of the catchphrase "Boy Howdy!" in 2002 was a fluke, a mistake, a happy accident. Well that's where you're wrong, brothah. Slogans are all about publicity. And I think we can make this fly! I call upon you, my friends scattered throughout the country (and the world), to give it the old college try.

True, you'll get some strange looks from the uninitiated. But just remember, Rome wasn't built in a day and a rolling stone gathers no moss. So get off your high horse and put your nose to the grindstone before it's curtains for you.

Now good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Testing...one, two, three

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.

this has been a test of the hyperlinking capabilities of the blog.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

In a Nutshell

I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, friendship and support that my fledgling blog and I have enjoyed these past few days. It’s so nice to be able to “give a little back” to those of you whose blogs I have enjoyed these many weeks now.

Okay, so here’s the scoop on me.
Been in Anchorage for three years (since graduation). Bought a house next door to my parents (best decision ever). Got my CPA (thought I’d be more excited about that). Really love my church, Chapel by the Sea (‘da Chapel). Really love high school ministry with those jokers for Jesus (Dustin and Tami Majtan, Matt and Amy Raper, among others). My whole fam is currently up here (and living in a one-mile radius). I am currently into knitting hedgehogs (pictures to come!!) and have been trying to write (not about hedgehogs, per se, but just writing in general).

Tune in next time when we find the answers to the blog's burning question: Way to Go...Who??

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Hello Blog, I'm your new mother

Welcome to my blog! I invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy the show. I realize, of course, that 1:48 in the morning is perhaps not the best time to be posting my very first post. I am, admittedly, not at the top of my game. But, you know, I'm free and the internet is smokin' right now, so let's give it a shot.

I can only hope that this will be a successful blog. I just watched a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof and now I want to utter a blessing about everything. Rabbi, Rabbi! Is there a blessing for the blog??