Dwayne the tub, it smells like a swamp!
This weekend I took it upon myself to drain and clean my hot tub in preparation for a winter full of hot tubbing. I hadn’t cleaned it in some time. Truth be told, I had never cleaned it. So you can imagine my discomfort while trying to relax in what Seinfeld would call “A tepid pool of my own filth” (graphic, I know. But this blog deals with reality, people!). I haven’t gotten in my hot tub since February.
Saturday was the day, dawning sunny and cold. I bounded out of bed at 11 o'clock, rested and ready for the day. Here are ten easy steps for cleaning a hot tub, should you ever have the opportunity:
1. Drain the hot tub. For me, this involved siphoning through a sawed-off garden hose and getting a mouthful of water in the process. It was only later that I discovered – to my chagrin – that there is a drain pipe attached to the tub for that very purpose. Certainly a more sanitary option with a smaller chance of getting a hickey on one’s lips (awkward!).
2. Scoop out the water that doesn’t siphon out with a Tupperware® container (I’ve found that Tupperware® works best – probably the patented burping action).
3. Wipe up all the water that you cannot scoop with dry towels (this will take 37 dry towels).
4. Scrub the tub with a rag, baking soda, and elbow grease.
5. Rinse the tub out with fresh water (repeating steps 2 and 3 as necessary).
6. You should now have a clean, dry tub. If you choose, you can wax the fiberglass. At this point however, I was ready to move on to Step 7
7. Fill the tub with fresh cold water from your garden hose.
8. Wait for the tub to heat up (this will take 37 hours).
9. Sanitize to taste.
So now I have a clean hot tub that smells like chlorine instead of swamp. When I left for work this morning it was up to 102! I plan on enjoying a good soak this evening. Hmmm. If this post wasn’t so long I would start discoursing on the ways the hot tubbing in Alaska is the best hot tubbing experience ever. Perhaps at a later date.